Bye

I don't have anything. I'm sick, I told my grandmother goodbye on her death bed, and I am losing someone that is usually a constant in my life. What is going on here? I am challenged. Alone. Things are changing, I can feel it. I'm getting older, I feel that too. I am broken. I don't have anything.

I'm listening now

Weekend

Got the house in order.. why does that make me feel about 10X better when I have a spotless house? It doesn't make any problems go away or fix anything, but it's as if I can think clearly and just feel refreshed. Cleanliness is next to Godliness right? I think so.

Went to Dave and Busters with Hubs parents for a belated birthday dinner. We had such a good time!! T ran around screaming the whole time, haha... oh I love him. At the end we went to trade in our 1030 tickets to get T something.. we found really cute stuffed puppies, elephants, and bears... but instead he wanted the ugliest bear in the place! We could afford 2 of those so he got a blue one and an orange one. He stared at them the whole way home! "my bears, my bears, blue bear, orange bear" My husband and I held hands in the car the whole drive home, I don't think we've done that since we were dating. A very special night.

Today I did a bible study alone and this especially stuck with me.. "He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God" (John 8:47)
I thought about this for a long time today. This is something I have heard plenty times before, but this time I heard it a little different.

Three that went by fast!

Wednesday



I slept in.. late! ahh, it was nice.

Thursday

School.... cut open cow eyeballs... yeah, it was gross. Took my last lab quiz for A&P I! The end is near!! Then met the fam for my brother's 18th bday dinner! Can't believe he's 18.... can't believe I'm old enough to remember when he was born!

Friday

NOT GOOD

While talking about brains... mine farted!!

Monday and Tuesday

I guess I don't have much to say. So, am I boring? Am I busy or am I lost? I think it varies. Am I a reality TV junkie?... yeah, pretty sure about that one. Monday and Tuesday were filled with studying and TV. I had a very long meeting Monday for my program I'm entering at school. Registered for the rest of my fall classes... 15hrs this time. Plus I found out that my Anatomy and Physiology II instructor is "so hard!" Grrrrrrrreat. Ya I want to go on a vacation.. a real one! NOW!

I read up on the blood type diet. Sounds interesting and I have been toying with the idea of actually trying it out. Told Hubs about it... he acts interested too.

Tuesday was the big presentation day in A&P I. My partner for the project decided to get stuck in traffic the day of our speech. I was freaking out silently. My instructor choose the order we went in so I cringed every time she called out who was next... Thank you Jesus that we were not the 1st 2nd 3rd or 4th to go... because Rose walked in during the 4th... we were 6th. whew!!!
Close one? yes! Everything good? NO.........My brain went totally blank at the VERY end of my part, I was forced to look down and search through my notes to figure out what the heck I was talkin about. I love brain farts. Thankfully I recovered after what seemed like 5 min. Rose told me later it was actually like 2-3 secs. We will see how much that hurt me next tues when we get our grade.

My grandma on my dad's side isn't doing well. We don't know if it's the end or not. She's 84. I can imagine being 34 and 44....maybe even 54...I cant fathom being 84. That's 60 years away. I hope i'm surrounded by great-grandbabies, spend my days drinking tea on a big porch holding Hubs hand when i'm 84.

Brain stuff

the weekend



The weekend was nothing like last weekend. Our house was quiet, peaceful. We stayed home, acted lazy, and played with T. I have a huge presentation due Tuesday for my class, so Saturday afternoon I worked on researching Alzheimer's disease. Bright and early Sunday morning my classmate Rose came over to work on our presentation. I woke up to her calling me askin, "Is your house grey? I'm outside." Grrrrrrrrrrreat... so I jumped up to meet her at the door trying to wake up and so mad at myself that I slept through my alarm...I can't believe I did that. So, we got right to work, I made coffee and she brought breakfast(made me feel even worse!) and Hubs took T to a birthday party. My baby was so worn out!! After T went to bed it was kickboxing time! I think I'm really starting to like this! Then Hubs and I settled in watching Entourage and Hung.... Sundays are our HBO nights. Quiet....I like it.

Okay, I think I'm sore... oh yeah, I'm in PAIN!

The second day
So, last night my husband, i'll call him hubs, started teaching me some kickboxing moves. I can tell you I had no idea it was THAT much of a workout. I couldn't help but thnk about how silly I must look punching and kicking and trying to take it seriously. I'm not joking when I say I was gasping for air after only 15 min. I really think i've found something here. I was excited that it's something new and I was excited that Hubs was excited to teach me something.
When I woke up I was fine, felt great, then I moved......OH MAN. So, I worked out places that I doubt have ever been used before or something. After I ate cereal and limped around awhile my husband took baby T with him so I could get some studying done. BLAH!
We had a very nice peaceful relaxing afternoon cooped up inside from the crazy heat outside! Our friend Ace came by for dinner, but didn't stay long... I think he could tell we were tired and just wanted family time. Not to mention, I commited to my best friend, Elise, that I would join her in 30 days of no alcohol. Besides, drinking won't help me trying to lose a few pounds.
I talked to my dad this evening and learned that my 84 year old grandmother in is the hospital. I will be praying for her tonight and my dad. This is hard on him. He's had a rough 9 years and is finally getting his life straight again and i'm sure this is tough to deal with.
I did get a quote from my dad today and I really like it........
"We could learn alot from crayons.....Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box. "
Hubs and I watched a good movie after we got some kickboxing in.(Don't ask how pulled that off, I'm sure i'll pay for it tomorrow) He told me I did better than last night.
Today I accomplished eating right and excercising, but mostly I focused on cherishing my family and thinking about how much I love them. My boys.

Pink Gloves

Day 1
The first morning I woke up to my sweet husband cooking me breakfast. He had eggs, mini biscuits, and turkey bacon, along with coffee ready and waiting for me. He knows I'm trying to make a change and has let me know he will be there every step helping with whatever he can. I think this is crutial... having someone that supports you. I thought about this as I walked into the kitchen to see a big smile on his face. My "morning bad mood" instantly went away. I'm ususally horrible in the mornings, but when I saw the trouble he was going through and how proud of himmself he was to treat me, I was freed from my frowns and irritations. We had a great relaxed breakfast.
After breakfast I decided it was time to do some sort of excercise. I have several work out shows recorded to my DVR that i've never even looked at. I told myself it didn't even matter which one I choose, just pick one. So I picked one about power sculpting and it was actually was fun. About five min. after doing it I turn around and there's my husband, jumping and moving and flexing and stretching right along with me. Again, see where i'm going with this support thing?
So after my excercise show I jump in the shower and get ready for class. I had an Anatomy and Physiology Lab quiz to prepare for. As soon as I get ready I leave the house. I like to get there early to study and relax. I've found a perfect study place where I feel like I can really focus and get things done. In class we took our quiz did one short activity and we got out of class early.
I left school and went to pick up my son, T, from my Grandma and Papaw. I met them at the hospital where my Papaw's twin brother is. He is very sick. I could tell how hard it is on Papaw to see his brother like that and even though it hurts to see papaw hurt, I still couldn't help being grateful that it wasn't Papaw in the hospital this time, that for right now at this moment, Papaw was healthy... a little tired maybe, but not sick.
After spending the rest of the afternoon in the hospital and eating dinner with my grandparents I took my baby boy home. He was asleep before we even got out of the parking lot. The ride home was peaceful. I put on soft music and stole many glances at my little man in the backseat dreaming.
After bathing and rocking T to sleep, I realized there was a pile of stuff in the kitchen I hadn't seen brfore. I looked at it and looked at it...then realized......kickboxing! My husband bought us stuff to kickbox! Really? Are you kidding me? How am I going to pull that off? Can he really teach me that? I called him in the room to explain himself. All he said was all he needed to say,"I got you pink gloves." Pink gloves? Oh, well in that case..... Let's do it!